For Those Who Find The Reality Of Unemployed Doctors Boring....

Ok, this entry is for those of you who can't cope with reality because it's "too boring" >.> (FD and DD). I cannot guarantee the veracity of the following entry in any way after this point (ie: it's all made up)....

Today I left my phone in a patient. It wasn't until after I'd closed up that I realised what had happened when it started ringing. I reached for the scissors to undo the stitches, and found that I'd left them inside as well. Bummer.

After retrieving my phone I left the theatre staff to fix the patient back up and wandered off in search of my next patient. As I strolled along the corridor I came across one of my A+E colleagues (Dr A) copping off with a nursing student (Ms B) in the middle of the corridor. Stepping round them, I continued on my journey.

Arriving in A+E, it was immediately obvious that I would have plenty to do. Bypassing the first few cubicles because they either smelt of stale urine or of infected ulcers, I entered the resuscitation area to find half a dozen patients who looked like their legs had been put onto them the wrong way round.

After persuading one of them that they didn't need sedation or anaesthetic before I did anything, I grabbed their foot and yanked it round to where it should be while she cursed obscenities at me and continued spurting blood from the wound on her face. Eventually she became quiet and I thanked my lucky stars. Then shortly realised it was because her heart had stopped.

I decided to leave because I couldn't be bothered with all that resuscitation nonsense because it was tiring....